Intro to the Podcast

Monika This is the Pioneers Club podcast. 

Patrick The Community Podcast for driven Entrepreneurs and leaders. 

Monika Here you can connect with like minded people, create a sense of belonging and gain more agency in your daily life. Hi, my name is Monika and I’m your host. I help entrepreneurs and leaders with big ideas go from feeling overwhelmed, scared and confused to being clear headed, confident and focused as they go after their goals. I’m a mental and systemic coach and primarily focus on topics such as resilience agency, high performance and goal pursuit, helping my clients thrive in their business with more ease. 

Patrick And I’m your co-host, Patrick. I’m an entrepreneur in the fast paced media industry, and I help people tell stories. As a producer and production manager, I work with a global network of partners to create engaging content, combining media and technology to create value and impact. I went or live through the topics of our podcast just like you, and will try to ask the questions you might have.

This week’s topic: Navigating Change

Patrick So welcome back to this week’s episode, and we’re talking about something that acknowledges the last two episodes. We talked about self-doubt. We talked about comparison. And this week we’re acknowledging that we talked about it, that we’re reflecting about it, that we’re working on ourselves, and now we want to change. Now we want to do something different because we realize that there is more potential and there’s something that we want or need to change. 

Monika Yes, that’s often the moment where you have dealt with self-doubt and you are ready to own your vision, to own your own strengths, to stand up for yourself. And then you’ve also learned how to compare yourself intentionally and, therefore, are more aware of what you want and don’t want. And then you oftentimes get to this point where you are more clear on, “This is the way to go or this is not the way to go, and I need to change.”

But how do you do that if you’ve been doing something for years already? And if you’re in a habit of doing things in a certain way and other people expect it from you as well, right? How do you make this shift then? 

Patrick And also, I think it’s about accepting yourself, the way you are working, you want to work – how to move forward with this certain way of doing things. 

Monika That’s a huge challenge. Accepting yourself despite the resistance that you might get from other people then because you are so much more accepting of what is right for you, what works for you, what doesn’t work for you. And maybe this is different to what other people are doing. You need to be really rooted within yourself to then know exactly how to stand up for this new choice or this new awareness of yourself. 

The first steps of initiating practical change

Patrick But how then can I change? I mean, I did all the work from our past two episodes. I’ve worked on the self-doubt. I worked on the comparison. I took all the positives from these two. And now I’m trying to change something. I’m trying to accept myself, that I’m doing things differently. What’s the first step? 

Monika Well, the first step is to not rush into it, right? Because what I see oftentimes, also with my clients, they are so eager to draw conclusions, right?

So now you have stopped doubting yourself. You know how to stand up for yourself. You have stopped comparing yourself to the wrong people and you know more of what you want. And I have an idea of where I want to go.

And then usually people get impatient and they start rushing forward. They are, “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.” And want to draw conclusions before they have actually done the search that you need to do in order to become so focused and clear on what it is that you want to create. 

Patrick I kind of get that because you just want to do something new and you can’t wait that this new thing, this new way of work, actually elevates you to a different level then. 

Monika Of course, and that’s exciting. And also it feels as if you’re… if you are holding back, maybe this will lead you towards doubting yourself again, if you’re not rushing forward and getting these quick wins, right? Maybe you will start doubting or getting insecure or hesitant. So, let’s go. Let’s go all in.

I understand it perfectly well as well. But if you don’t do the groundwork, you will start stumbling later on. 

Doing the groundwork & laying the foundation with 2 simple questions

Patrick So what’s the groundwork? 

Monika The groundwork is to do the search work. And what I do, what I mean with search is that you actually go within and ask yourself, “What has happened in the past?” and really do a little bit of research. We would call this in business due diligence. You would look at what has happened until now and you are clear, “Okay, I don’t want that anymore, but what do I want instead?”

Usually this comes with two questions that you need to ask yourself.

First, what do I want to remain the same? So what is good about what is here now? Because usually people would throw out the baby with the bathwater. And this is too much of a risk oftentimes to take. And it will also lead oftentimes to then afterwards regret and doubt, because there were good things about what you did and there might have been things that you did subconsciously in a way that fulfilled a certain need. And if you just let go of everything, it’s always like going back to point zero and starting again. 

Patrick So I don’t always have to go back and change the complete system. Sometimes it’s just taking the good things, keep them and then just changing some certain negative things that I don’t want to continue. 

Monika People will ignore how powerful little shifts and changes are and to what they can build up to if you do them intentionally. But yes, what we don’t want is actually when we want to change, we want to build on everything that we have done. We don’t always want to engage in creative destruction where we rip ourselves off all the benefits of what we have built until now. No, we want to change and we want to grow. But we want to build on what we have done so far.

And then once you have asked the question, “What do I want to remain the same?” or “What do I want to keep having/doing?” Then you can ask yourself, “Okay, what do I not want anymore? What do I want to let go of?”

But it’s not enough to just know what you want to let go of. You need to ask yourself, “What do I want to be there instead?”

Patrick I think that’s an important question to dive in a little deeper here, because maybe some people might think that it is very complicated what needs to be there, how does this thing that needs to be there look like.

Is it very complex? Is it very big or can it be just a blueprint of what I want to change? 

Monika Not at all. It’s not complicated at all. Rather, it’s an awareness shift in choosing where to focus your attention. And if you continue to ask this question, things will get clearer. And then, of course, it will be complex. But at the beginning… yes, this would be again, the trying to draw conclusions too quickly. Where people would then go, “Yes, but how?” What should be there instead? And they would rush into the how. No.

Example: Owning your worth & showing up in a new way

Monika Let’s take an example. You have started to own your worth because you don’t doubt yourself anymore that strongly. You are aware of your strengths. You are not comparing yourself to the wrong people anymore. So now you want to also own your worth in communicating with other people. This may be potential clients, partners, etc. but you really want to charge and also show up in a way that acknowledges the value of what you’re offering. So you might say, “I don’t want to be nervous anymore”, or “I don’t want to play small anymore.”

Patrick Not that easy to do, though, because it’s a very broad thing, actually. 

Monika Yeah. But you get there if you start asking the question, “What do I want to be there instead?”

Do you want to be assertive or do you want to be humorous and not take things too seriously? These are very different approaches and choosing where you want to go and how things should change will make it easier for you to then go to the next step.

How to take the next step by finding exceptions to the rule

Monika And this is to find examples of how to do it differently. If you know where you’re going, it will be easier to find these exceptions to what you have been doing before. 

Patrick So exceptions just means there are certain things that are out of the system that still work. Doesn’t mean the entire system is changing. It’s just certain aspects that can be different and I need to find them and implement them into how I work and need to actually find out if that’s even working. 

Monika Yes, very well explained. In coaching I work with exceptions because they are so powerful.

You can look for exceptions within yourself. When do I find it easier to assert my worth? When do I find it easier to be relaxed? And then analyze these situations and what allowed you to do things differently there.

Or you might also want to look at exceptions using other people as reference model, other ways of doing things, other ways of working within a certain system where you can say, “Oh, well, this might work. It’s different to what I’ve been doing or what others are doing, but it’s been shown to work.” 

Patrick Am I then back into comparing myself? 

Monika Yes, there you are. But it is very intentional and different because you are already in this deeply rooted state, but also in an analyzing state where you are just curious and looking for solutions instead of judging yourself and judging other people’s solutions. 

What does it take mentally & emotionally to actually change?

Patrick So that’s already sort of a coaching input from you, how to do this, how to change. But if I’m ready to change, what does it actually take to change? Because it’s not a process that happens overnight. It’s not something that I’m doing from one day to the other. It takes a long time. It takes a lot of work. But what does it take mentally from myself to get through that? 

Monika That’s true. This explanation or these approaches that I just explained are something that I would do in a process with my clients just over, let’s say, 2 or 3 sessions, the analyzing work. But then I would give them a lot of time in between the sessions to put it into practice.

It does take a lot of courage, a lot of acceptance, a lot of open mindedness and curiosity to keep exploring things, then to see what works. Because sometimes as well you will find – intending to do things differently, and you already have this outlook, let’s say, you have your what is there instead – and then you find out, Well, this is not exactly it, though. And to not get discouraged at this point, but keep going on and keep growing, it takes a lot of courage, acceptance, open mindedness, and also risk tolerance.

Because what I hear oftentimes is that people are willing to take the risk, willing to take the leap if someone is going to guarantee them that it works out. 

Patrick Which is not really taking a risk, because if we knew it would work out well, not a risk and we would all do it. 

Monika That’s it. To be really risk tolerant, you have to have this endurance of this transitional time as well, where you are just unsure of how things are going to unfold. Where you need to hold the space – this is what I often do and talk about in coaching – hold the space to just endure the ambiguity, the not-knowing. 

Patrick Which is probably the hardest because every entrepreneur is, as you just mentioned before, straightforward into action, wanting to do something fast and get to the change, get to the new standard basically.

And then you’re just in this trial and error mode where you just have to wait that okay, is it working out or is it not working out? 

Monika Yeah, that’s why one of the most radical interventions that I can give my clients is usually – and they are these driven and passionate, ambitious entrepreneurs – is usually, don’t change anything yet. This is really a challenge for them because this demands to endure things and go into this searching state before then taking the risk to actually implement the changes. We are going to talk about risk tolerance next time as well and how to do it more intentionally.

But staying in this state of knowing that you’re going to change, being ready to change and not changing it yet? Oh, yeah. Takes a lot of patience. 

Patrick A lot of energy. Not that easy, actually. 

Monika Not that easy. But once you learn how to do it, it gets more fun because then you find freedom within that.

Using the end of the year to reflect, take this approach & create meaningful change

Monika But this is also… This time of the year is perfect, actually, to do just that. Because, right now, we all are finalizing the past year, thinking about and reflecting hopefully on how things went. We are comparing what we set ourselves as goals, what we actually achieved, how things went, what came unexpectedly as well. A lot of times we don’t account for the unexpected. 

Patrick Well, especially in entrepreneurship, a lot of things are unexpected during the year. 

Monika Yes. So taking this time where you are not already going into taking new actions, but taking this time to reflect on everything that’s happened and that led you to be there where you are now. And then do this searching work, just as we have talked about it now, in order to then be ready for the new year. This is a great way to finalize and really wrap up the year.

Your FREE 2023/2024 New Years Reflection Guide for more guidance & insights

Monika So I invite you to do just that, to take these next few weeks, even if it’s just for a few hours on the weekend. To do this reflecting work, to acknowledge everything that you’ve done so far in this year, draw your conclusions about where you want to go and then do the search work.

Now, if you want a little bit of more of guidance and support along this way, I invite you to join me on Instagram where I have a new free guide for you, offering several coaching prompts and journaling prompts for you to go deeper, to take several questions and just reflect on everything that you’ve achieved.

This kind of work will allow you to introduce the new year with more focus and intentionality. 

Now it’s your turn!

Patrick If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your fellow entrepreneurs so they can listen to Simply grab the link to this episode or grab going to the podcast and send it to them. If you’re looking to join our tribe of movers and shakers to gain a sense of belonging and get fresh ideas and insights, be sure to join our Pioneers Club community. The link’s waiting for you in our show notes. 

Monika Also, don’t forget to connect with us on LinkedIn or Instagram and let us know: What was one helpful thought or insights you gained from this episode?

Have any questions or ideas for us? Head over to our LinkedIn, our Instagram pages and tell us we read every submission and would love to answer your questions in a later episodes too. So thanks for joining us. 

Patrick See you in the next one. 

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